Hedonism got way out of a hand when the internet came along and the sex toy market exploded like, well, a bukkake video. Where once it was simple shoulder massagers and turkey basters that had to be adapted to nefarious purposes, nowadays anything you can think of (and probably a few dozen things you could never think of) are out there to give some lonely shut-in the pleasure they can’t get from molesting a damp slice of bread. Things like these …

P.S. (DO NOT SHARE  with  your kids, mom, dad, partner (if you are playing the innocence role), priest, nun and your pet dog)

 

 

The Squeel | Tongue Vibrator

Sqweel  is a sex toy for women (and their partners!) designed to simulate the sensation of oral sex.

Web quote: “Forget everything you thought you knew about sex toys – LoveHoney Sqweel is different. It doesn’t vibrate. It doesn’t thrust. It doesn’t just provide quick, semi-satisfying orgasms. Its unique wheel of tongues provides easily controlled stimulation at just the speed you need to deliver deeper, long-lasting, more ‘real’ sheet-clenching orgasms – whenever you want them.”

 

 

Clone-A-Willy Vibrator Moulding Kit

Clone A Willy Kit, a clever product allows one to make a perfect replica of your partner’s penis. The moulding process takes a matter of minutes after which it has to be left for a few hours to set. The kit contains all the moulding equipment (liquid rubber, moulding sleeve, etc) and a multi-speed vibrating unit. You can also experiment with the color of the mould by adding a small amount of an oil-based paint while mixing up the liquid rubber.

Funny web quote: “Keep your partner handy in your purse or close by “
[RELATED POST: 14 Weird Artists And Their Absurd Techniques]

 

 

Political? Here’s Obama Dildo

Just in time to insert some pork into the stimulus package comes the “official” Obama pleasure toy. For only $34.95 you can get the “Head O State Obama Sex Toy”, and you get your choice between “Presidential Gold” and “Democratic Blue”. 

 

 

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